Tag Archives: Hiking

No Guilt this Holiday season: Three ways to be kind to yourself

Having a guilt-free holiday season means being extra kind to yourself. Families can be even more demanding at this time of the year. I learned a hard lesson from visiting my sister. There were times when I only had an hour to stop off and see her, but I knew that she would not be happy with a “short” visit. I constantly felt guilty for not having more time and wound myself in knots trying to explain myself to her. She didn’t want excuses and the short visit usually ended in harsh words and bad feelings. And my guilt was not assuaged one bit.guilt-free

I am not in control of my sister’s response to my availability to visit. You are not in control over how your family reacts to your desires to spend the holidays alone or with other people. We only have control over how we respond to situations. Understanding this helps release guilt. Especially during the holidays, replace guilt with self kindness:

 

  1. Use a kindness mantra. This can be as simple as repeating the word ‘kindness’ in the morning or during a stressful commute. I often repeat my mantra word while walking. Instead of negative thoughts swimming around our heads, we need to create positive reminders that we are worthy of self care.
  2. Spread kindness. I find that when I do little, unexpected kind gestures for others, I feel loved. Just the other day I randomly offered to pay for a woman’s coffee. The look on her face was that of delightful surprise. She expressed her gratitude and I accepted it warmly.
  3. Maintain perspective with E+R=O — Events happen and how you Respond will determine the Outcome. Our egos think we have control over others’ feelings. We don’t. We can only be who we are, act with kindness, and let go of what other’s think. It’s much easier to do this when we remember how little control we have and that being kind towards others is a positive way of letting go of our pesky ego’s need for control.

Together We Can

88-year-old Betty finished the 3 1/2 hour rainy-day hike. It wasn’t something she did alone; the group walked along side her. With a walking stick in one hand, her grandson held the other. When the creek was too wide and rocky, our guide lifted Betty safely to the other side.

IMG_2927Even though some in our hiking group may have wanted to climb a peak or move more quickly, our personal desires easily gave way to the group’s goal of completing the hike as a whole. As individuals we may be preoccupied with our individual agendas, but allowing others to interrupt our preoccupations can be a sweet gift. We tune into someone else and we wake up to the present moment.

This is what it can be like to be a family caregiver. If we’re able to set aside our personal wants and tune into another person, it is a great gift to both care receiver and ourselves. When I completed Robert V. Taylor’s 21-Day Reboot, I found myself tuning both inward and also outward per his daily suggestions. When you listen to our radio interview, you will see just how helpful his 21-Day Reboot can be for family caregivers. Instead of being weighed down by daily tasks, embrace Robert’s Day 5 suggestion: “Delight affects how you participate in your own life and the world. Chose to allow yourself to be delighted by something or someone today. Tell another person about your delight.” Read more »