My daughter just suggested we start a petition to “remove February and even the first and last weeks of March.” I imagine living in one of the sunnier regions of the world would make life easier during the winter months, but still, February and March seem interminable. The festivities of the holidays are long behind us, spring seems like it will never appear, and frankly, life feels sluggish. Winter seems endless. In a nutshell, this is how long-term caregiving can feel, like you’re stuck in a ‘never-ending February.’
Instead of fighting the February blues, I have been inviting surrender into my life. I returned to one of my favorite poems to remind me once again of how to “be helpless, dumbfounded, unable to say yes or no.” The poet Rumi talks of allowing “a stretcher of grace” to scoop us up, trusting that when we surrender, “miraculous beings come running to help.” I think a little magic is just the ticket, especially in the ‘February times’ of our lives.
Be helpless, dumbfounded,
Unable to say yes or no.
Then a stretcher will come from grace to gather us up.
We are too dull-eyed to see that beauty.
If we say we can, we’re lying.
If we say No, we don’t see it,
That No will behead us
And shut tight our window onto spirit.
So let us rather not be sure of anything,
Beside ourselves, and only that, so
Miraculous beings come running to help.
Crazed, lying in a zero circle, mute,
We shall be saying finally,
With tremendous eloquence, Lead us.
When we have totally surrendered to that beauty,
We shall be a mighty kindness.