Tag Archives: Radio

Take 15 to get SANE

UCG out in Oslo (1)

I am delighted to interview guests and produce my radio show. I also derive great pleasure from sharing my new bookThe Unexpected CaregiverHow to keep Mom & Dad safe, active, independent and yourself S.A.N.E. I write and speak on staying SANE while giving care because I know how important it is to remain balanced. Trying to care for someone else—especially family—can be calamitous if your internal messages are giving you bad advice. The SANE Method helps you get out of that emotional chaos and move into a balanced approach to giving care.

Now you can take fifteen minutes and learn a little about staying SANE. Teri Knight recently interviewed me on her weekly radio segment, “15 With the Author.” She asked me to start by reading the first paragraph of the Preface, written by Robert V. Taylor:

“Caregiving is a journey into the heart of the unexpected and the unknown. At its very worst it creates resentful caregivers or angry martyrs. At its finest it is an invitation into the depths of what it means to be human and shines a light on life that we could never have imagined.”

Robert’s words beautifully sum up the yin and yang of giving care. I invite you to take a small amount of time to listen to our upbeat conversation about how to use SANE to care for yourself while giving care to others.

I also encourage you to read my book and to remember to use the SANE Methodto help you tackle the highs and lows of caregiving. You, too, can experience the joy and fulfillment often found in providing care for family, loved ones and friends.

 

YOAD—Alzheimer’s isn’t just for the old anymore

While waiting for a flight, I scanned The Times of London. The sidebar on page 14 read: “Dementia kills man, 40.” I was immediately troubled by how we continue to report dementia as a disease. Dementia is a general term for decline in mental abilities. Dementia happens because there is a brain injury or illness. The person mentioned as “one of the youngest reported to die from dementia,” had damage in his frontal and/or temporal lobes of the brain. That damage had caused the dementia, named “Frontotemporal dementia.”

brain_witelsonMaybe it’s because I’m in the field of aging and family caregiving that I want us to have a better understanding of diseases that cause life-altering dementia. I wish that more people understood these diseases, especially as we’re seeing more cases in younger people.

Young Onset Alzheimer’s Disease (or YOAD) is often misdiagnosed as depression or simply “change of life” issues for women. I interviewed a man on my radio show who struggled for years to get an accurate diagnosis. He started noticing changes in his mental capacity at age 39 and his doctors came to the same conclusion: he suffered from stress.

I personally know people with YOAD and it is incredibly difficult to be in public with them. We simply aren’t trained in how to respond to older adults with Alzheimer’s disease and we’re even less prepared to handle awkward conversations with younger people who have YOAD. I remember being in a fabric store with a friend who has YOAD. Someone approached her and said, “I love your jacket; where did you get it?” That was too much information thrown at her far too quickly. She couldn’t answer. I put my arm around her and said, “I remember when you got this jacket, but I can’t remember where you got it.” (My friend shook her head in agreement.) I know it’s your favorite.” (And she again agreed with a smile.) The inquiring stranger accepted that answer.

When you suspect someone is struggling to communicate or if you know someone has YOAD, be extra kind, but don’t treat him or her like a child. If they can’t verbalize, help them out in the most supportive way you know how.

Poetry in Caregiving

Over the years Dak (a.k.a. my brother Steve) has given me a most treasured gift: his love through words and friendship. I am grateful that we are a sister and brother duo that has grown up sharing similar interests and friends. We played well together as young kids (even though I broke many of his “toy” sticks just to make him mad), acted in high school plays and marched in band at the same time. While living in Denver, CO, he sang in a church choir that I directed (often times teasing me before we sang by mouthing to me, “What are we singing?”) Today we are uncovering ways we can combine our talents to further the understanding of family caregiving and aging. I am blessed to have such a wise and loving brother on my team. It is my honor to share his thoughts about the month that is now closing and the journey of family caregiving. Read more »

Ew! Nanna and Pappa should not have sex

By Dak Gustal

Oh my! Did you know that sex is such a big deal?

I sure didn’t. I was surprised to find out that people think about and want to have sex even when they have wrinkles and gray hair.

Yeah, I took a look at this article about how people get fired when residents have sex in nursing homes, and also at this one about people that allow and expect it to happen. Read more »

Three Taboo Subjects to Raise with your Aging Parents

Finances, Mental Health and Sex: Three topics of conversation avoided in the calm times and poorly handled under crisis—especially when a conversation needs to take place between an aging parent and their adult child. Read more »

I don’t need training. I know my Mom

What do you do when your mom has Alzheimer’s disease, your father denies it, and your siblings are of no help? Caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s disease has a steep learning curve. Yet may family caregivers feel they “should” be able to handle it—No training needed. You must ask for help. Read what you can get your hands on. Attend support groups. Instead of arguing with someone who has Alzheimer’s disease, use my favorite phrase: “You may be right.” And walk away.

I recently interviewed Pam Brammann, who provides training for family caregivers. She shared with me brain brain images (PET scans). First you see a normal, active brain compared to an Alzheimer’s brain. You see very little activity in the diseased brain. The second set compares a normal infant’s brain to that of someone with late stage Alzheimer’s disease. It becomes clear just why you can’t reason with someone who has Alzheimer’s disease—their brain is working at the level of a 2-year-old.

Normal Brain vs Alzheimer's Brain Late Alzheimer's Brain vs Normal Infant's Brain

As Pam explained in our radio interview, “If a two-year-old runs across the street, you don’t sit that child down and elaborate the dangers of running across a street; the child won’t get it. Same goes for someone with Alzheimer’s disease.” Reasoning with someone who has Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias doesn’t make sense.

Even if you think you know your Mom or Dad, you may not understand how the disease has changed their brain. Getting a little training to better understand the disease and just how you can handle the symptoms (or behaviors) will do wonders to keep you sane.

Music Makes the World Go ‘Round

(Thanks for your patience! I’ve corrected the radio link at “Listen in.” I will get this!)

I had the pleasure of interviewing Music Therapist Michele Hirokowa. Her explanations of just how music can be used as a therapy with your loved ones is clear and right on. Music can change a mood, calm you down, or simply keep you company in the background. But music also has powers to evoke memories, both good and bad. Melissa explains how working with a trained therapist can help process those emotions. Besides that, she’s just a whole lot of energy and fun. Listen in.

And speaking of using music to bring people together, Read more »