Money, Age, and Big Foot

Recently I posted a question on Facebook asking for top issues when it comes to caring for Mom and Dad. One response was: “I hate trying to make sense of their finances & realizing, by looking through checkbook registers for instance, that dementia was grabbing ahold of my mom much earlier than I realized.”

There are different types of loss. When dementia takes hold or death comes too quickly, financial issues tend to scream for your attention. Right in the middle of dealing with emotions, you need to tackle financial concerns.

I interviewed Aaron Britz of Legacy Wealth Management recently. He specializes in helping women gain financial control during a life transition, such as loss of a loved one. The interview is both upbeat and informational and could be just the ticket for moving you from fear of finances to getting a grip on this often times emotional issue.

And for a completely upbeat and upside-down look at financial issues, I call on Dak Gustal. Be wise…bite off these financial issues and if you want support, contact me. Now, here’s Dak:

Today I found out that financial decisions may get more difficult as we go through life, that the whole world is trying to figure this out, and that there is genetic evidence that Bigfoot exists.

Looking for a missing link to connect these ideas, I decided to go out into the woods to sit quietly until one of the Canadian Bigfoot Clan* ambled by. Sure enough, because they are now proven to exist genetically, I began to see them. I waited for one with a full body of gray hair to come along and asked him (or her, seriously there is a lot of hair and I am new to the Bigfoot identification game) for their view of our impending aging crisis.

DG: Hello and thank you for finally existing so that we can have this discussion today!

Bigfoot: Oh it’s very nice to finally exist for you, eh?

DG: I wanted to ask you specifically about your financial abilities. As you appear to be in your silverback years, do you feel that your finances are secure enough to be able to guarantee your existence and your family’s existence into the future?

Bigfoot: Yeah, I’ve been worrying about that a lot lately, eh? I was reading about how our perceptions change as we get older and certain financial risks that were perplexing to us become clearer while other financial operations become confusing, eh? Levy (study co-author Ifat Levy) pointed out one possibility: a loss in thinking powers related to deterioration of the brain due to aging. Also, she said the study shows that seniors were less able to comprehend numbers than younger people. I, for instance, no longer have any concept of the number three, eh, though I still retain the ability to say the word. Excuse me for one moment, eh? Gary! Hairy Gary! Lookin’ good! You da Subspecies, Baby! That was my friend Gary, eh? We golf every Tuesday. What were we talking about again, eh?

DG: You seem forgetful and easily distracted so I’m just going to go ahead and assume that all older members of your community are the same. Can I ask you if you are worried about losing your ability to remain just out of any camera’s range?

Bigfoot: This interview is over. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.

As I sat there next to the lake with a light breeze rattling the aspen leaves and the afternoon sun lighting up the reds and yellows of early October’s annual natural fireworks show watching Bigfoot amble off (turning slightly at the last moment to look at me before disappearing into the deep northern woods), I couldn’t help but think that part of the solution to panicking about all the things that may be in store for us in the future was to let the wind blow, let the leaves fall and let the memories of enormous arcane mammalia crash out of our eager youth and pass like clouds through their season.

*CBC also broadcasts extensively on television and radio, but I wanted a more personal view.

Dak Gustal is a freelance writer and poet living in Randoph, VT. You may contact him at st.augustus@gmail.com

Categories: Aging, Dak Gustal

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